I know many of you are using FaceBook and I understand, we all need to feel that we belong and have friends, but really, for the love of all thats holy, are you insane? Is it really necessary for me to know where you went for dinner, when you last had a "Satisfying" bowel movement, or my favorite, inform me when you are looking for a lost fucking sheep from your insane asylum you call FarmVille? FaceBook is one of the biggest time wasters known to man, second only to what pubescent boys do in the bathroom for hours with the door locked.
I have read that in the US, I am sure Canada as well, many companies have blocked and banned FaceBook access in the workplace, some governments have or are considering blocking it from the country, not because it is evil, but because it wastes so much time. The People's Republic of China, Vietnam, Iran, Uzbekistan, Pakistan, Syria and Bangladesh have all at one time or currently ban FaceBook, in most cases religious belief was the reason given. A company I know well in Malaysia banned FaceBook access in the office, not just the network but also on smart phones, because after a week of monitoring the traffic to FaceBook they determined that some staff members were spending more than 50% of their time in the office on FaceBook, the average was 25% or so. The worst offender was the Senior Sales Manager, who claimed that he was using it to follow up on new client leads, although he never made any sales, he was let go shortly after they banned FaceBook.
There is also the privacy issue associated with FaceBook, how many of you FaceBook users have actually read the User Agreement, it is worded in such a way that you basically have no rights to the information you post, none, FaceBook owns all your data as soon as you input it. Can you say "All hail Satan, lord of all that is evil", you might as well if you have accepted the user agreement, your FaceBook account, is a little like signing a contract with the Devil, you may be getting a great deal, but you better read the fine print very carefully.
I admit I had an account, I got it because all the other staff had one, and were all asking me to join, be their friend; I would have preferred a rectal exam by an epileptic proctologist with long sharp fingernails, but I wanted to be part of the group. In the time I had an account I think I posted 2 or 3 times and commented on a couple of peoples posts, that was all.
I decided after I left that company to delete my FaceBook profile, admittedly this was only after I read about the data mining that they do with every little bit of information you give them. Maybe it's all a conspiracy theory and I'll need another roll of tin foil for hats, but come-on how can we blindly trust them? In the end, I deleted my account because I didn't think it was any use, I wasn't using it, I wasn't conversing with anyone and I sure as shit wasn't playing FarmVille. I apologize to all FarmVille farmers, but lets face it, you need to go outside and get some sun, find a friend or get a cat or maybe 20.
I have many friends that have FaceBook accounts and some relatives, you know who you are, and I'm not holding their lemmingness against them, they can't help it, perhaps they were dropped as children and feel the need to share every little detail of their lives with everyone thats willing to read it. I give it the simple and patented "Clements' Reality" test, if you answer yes to any of the following questions, you need to see a professional and I don't mean a blind Thai masseuse.
1. Do you check FaceBook more than once a day or stay logged in for more than 1 hour?
2. Have I ever friended someone you didn't know just because they asked?
3. Have you ever posted something that you wouldn't tell a complete stranger?
4. Do you have a Facebook App on your phone?
5. Have you ever played any Facebook Game ending in "ville"? (FarmVille, FishVille, PetVille etc.)
6. Do you get angry when you haven't been "Tagged" in friends photos?
7. Do you send messages to your significant other while they are in the same house?
8. Have you ever posted on your Facebook page where or what you were eating, while eating?
9. Have you ever convinced a friend or family member to join so you could be "Closer to them"?
10. In the time it has taken to answer these questions, did you check your FaceBook page?
Ok, how many of you with FaceBook accounts can honestly answer no to every one of those questions, if you managed it, then congratulations, you're slightly less a Lemming than the others.
In all seriousness, deleting your FaceBook account isn't all that straight forward, when I decided to end my online presence with FaceBook, I "Deactivated" my account, this doesn't actually mean you don't have an account anymore, it's still there but you're not logging into it. As soon as you do log back in, even a year later, its as if you never left and you are right up to date with your friends posts, so you didn't miss one single post about your friends new babies diarrhea diaper rash, or your aunt Sue's gout flare ups, you're account is still receiving all the crap you were trying to get away from. You will also still be notified by email, if you had that option turned on, when you receive a message.
After I spent a good 30 minutes trying to figure out how to get to the page in my account setting so I could delete my FaceBook account, not just deactivate it, I turned to Google, I know, I'm an idiot for wasting 30 minutes before googling. I managed to find out how in only a few minutes and as ironic as it is, it turned out to be a FaceBook page, someone opened an account just to tell us all how to delete ours. The following was shamelessly copied from that page. I don't know the author of the following, but he seems to know what he's talking about, it worked for me.
HOW TO DELETE (long version)
Go here (working link above):
http://www.facebook.com/help/contact.php?show_form=delete_account
Click "Submit" and follow the instructions.
Your account will be deactivated for two weeks, and if you DO NOT USE FACEBOOK IN ANY WAY during that period, your account is permanently deleted.
I REPEAT: Your profile isn't deleted right away! You must NOT log in to, or interact in any other way with Facebook for at least two weeks, as it will cancel the deletion request. That includes NOT logging in to Facebook using any client (like the iPhone app or IM:s like Pidgin), NOT clicking embedded Like-buttons on other websites, NOT logging in to other services using Facebook Connect (like Digg) etc etc.
This method is official and should be complete, i.e. no need to delete individual photos, comments, messages or items from your profile or anywhere else on Facebook! If you have any concerns whether your stuff is actually deleted (as opposed to being kept somewhere in the deep dungeons of Facbook's HQ) your best bet is to ask them using email: info@facebook.com.
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Please note that I'm not a part of the Facebook team, and consequently cannot fix anything that's broken. If you are experiencing problems with the link above (or anything else concerning your account) your best bet is to contact Facebook directly by sending an email to info@facebook.com explaining your problem.
If someone has stolen your identity or if you are subject to any other form of "account abuse", try this form: http://www.facebook.com/help/contact.php?show_form=fake_profile or send an email, explaining your problem, to abuse@facebook.com .
Just to put FaceBook into a bit of perspective: (All stats shamelessly stolen from Wikipedia)
- You can sign up for free, it costs you nothing. This is a good thing right, what else can you get for free?
- "as of January 2011, Facebook had more than 600 million active users." This alone should scare the hell out of you, it does me. 600 million, thats more people than the number of people who believe in Buddhism (400 Million) thats a staggering number and its all free. Look at it another way, only India and China have a higher population.
- FaceBook 2009 REVENUE was $800 MILLION. Holy shit, there are some countries that have a lower GNP, 22 actually. Ok I understand that their revenue is generated by the "Banner ads, referral marketing and Casual games" on their sites.
- Facebook opened on September 26, 2006, to everyone 13 years old and older with a valid email address. I have never understood this age thing they have, what difference would it make if the kid was 12, they are still just as vulnerable to predators, the actual reasoning is that a 13 year old is typically in Junior High School.
- On October 24, 2007, Microsoft announced that it had purchased a 1.6% share of Facebook for $240 million. Lets face it if Microsoft was willing to buy 1.6% for $240 Million, they had to see there would be money to be made.
- A rise in Syphilis linked to FaceBook I couldn't make this shit up if I tried, check out the link for the full article.
- Other things FaceBook is blamed for Click on the link for the full article.
I guess what I'm trying to say and what a lot of others are saying is: be careful about sites that are free, they rarely are, in the case of FaceBook, you are giving them a valuable advertising tool, one that they will use when they want, what tool? Your privacy. FaceBook, like many others (Yahoo, Google, Amazon to name a few), keeps your personal information, in fact they now own it, to be used as they wish, you would know this if you had read the ling boring user agreement you said Ok to, when you opened your account.
For you cynics, I know you're rolling your eyes at me because I am writing this to anyone who will read it and to a point you are right. I will defend myself by saying, I do email the people I feel close to and Free Falling is just so I can vent on my own, if no one reads it, does it matter? Not much, but I would like to think someone is actually getting something out of this other than me and my therapist. I guess I could have done this on FaceBook as well, but I prefer to keep it somewhat under my control.
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