There are times when the different levels of "Polite conversation" is blurred in western culture, for instance when you have had a couple of beers too many and are with friends that have also had too many, there is little you can't say. Hell there are times when saying anything at all would be considered impolite, like in an elevator with strangers, to be polite you might say: "Morning, how's it going?", not expecting more than "Good" as an answer. Here that question could end up with a discussion about your co-workers hugely inflamed hemorrhoids, not to mention an offer to see them for yourself.
I really don't consider myself as the high society type, hell I still believe it's ok to drink beer from a bottle on my couch in my boxers when family is around, hell they are family. Here I would be considered the Pope when it comes to manners, hell I'm considered "Stiff".
In a taxi one day, true story, the conversation went like this...
The driver asks "Where you from?"
I reply, "Canada"
Driver, "You work here?"
Me "Yep"
Driver, "Canada, nice place, my Uncle live in Vancouver, you ever been there? You can help me go there?"
Me, "Sorry, I don't know anything about immigration"
Driver, "You got good job here?"
Me "Yes"
Driver "You make lots of money, how come you not drive own car?"
Me "Don't need one"
Driver "You Married?"
Me 'Yes"
Driver "How many kids"
Me "None"
Driver "Why, you can't have?"
I ignore him.
Driver, "Where you want to go?"
Me. "Bangsar"
Driver, "No, no traffic stuffed, waste time"
I got out at that point, the whole conversation took maybe a minute, you might think this is an unusual conversation, but sadly, its pretty much how every taxi ride goes, and if its to the airport the driver will be expecting you to send him cards on his birthday, will know you're job, he will have tried guessing your salary, and if you are stuck in a jam, he will try to extort you for extra money because the tires are low.
The very first time I was in KL was when I was visiting my parents, dad worked here for a couple of years. My father and one of his colleagues from Canada decided to take my younger brother and I to the Night Market at Petaling Street. We decided to take a taxi because it was simpler then getting parking and my dad wasn't that familiar with KL. Everything went fine on the way there, but on the way back the taxi driver was very concerned that his car was being broken by all the weight of 4 white guys (Admittedly, we were probably to heavy for the car (a Proton Saga). A couple of times, while we were stopped at lights the driver would open his door to look at the tires. I assume he was checking to see if there was enough air in them. I think we over paid him when we got back to the hotel. It's funny at the time I had no idea where we were or how far it was from the hotel to Petaling Street, but now I know its only a 10 minute drive at most, that night I'm sure he took us the longest way possible.
Back to personal space:
I think that there is a connection to how many people live in a given square kilometer and how close they get when talking to you. In Canada, people getting closer than about about half a meter would have caused you to step back, but here thats considered to far. Seriously when you go to the bank machine the guy behind you will stand so close that you feel his breath on your neck, thats not an exaggeration. It still bothers me.
OK for the Squeamish skip the next paragraph! Seriously!
Every guy knows the urinal rules, if there is someone else using the urinal, there must be at least one empty urinal between him and the urinal you approach, better yet would be 2,3 or 10! Here guys don't seem to have that issue, they come stand next to you and then will sometimes make small talk!
When I first started working here I worked in an office building and here there is only 1 washroom per floor, unless there is one small washroom for "Executives" so the washrooms tend to be rather large (7 10 urinals). One thing that I know I never thought about (and I'm about to put it in your mind, you can thank me later) before I came, but how do they clean after? Well in the stalls there are hoses, which I assure you are probably only slightly less disgusting then using leaves in the bushes! But at the urinals there's no hose; nothing and men here wash (you can infer what you like from that) so if you're really lucky you have the washroom to your self and you are spared knowing these details but I'm going to enlighten you. These guys wash in either the sink (keep up, we're not talking about their hands) which is pretty nasty, I mean shit do we need to see that, the other place they use is in the urinal, yep with their hands! Ok so this sounds pretty bad so far, but it does get worse, after they "Wash" they leave, yep they don't wash their hands and people wonder why I keep tissues in my back pocket.
Ok, sorry for that.
The fact that I can relate this scene to you really shows how uninhibited about personal issues Malaysians are, this is not only limited to the bathroom. People here really believe that the "Westerners" talk about everything with anyone, I don't know where they get that from, maybe TV?
Malaysians don't have the built in filter that I grew up with (and admittedly, mines not so good all the time). When you go shopping for example, if you pick up an item thats fattening, the old "Aunty" will offer her opinion that you don't really need that, maybe you need a diet.
Well anyway, it makes it very interesting, and hell if it was just like Canada why would I be here?
I really don't consider myself as the high society type, hell I still believe it's ok to drink beer from a bottle on my couch in my boxers when family is around, hell they are family. Here I would be considered the Pope when it comes to manners, hell I'm considered "Stiff".
In a taxi one day, true story, the conversation went like this...
The driver asks "Where you from?"
I reply, "Canada"
Driver, "You work here?"
Me "Yep"
Driver, "Canada, nice place, my Uncle live in Vancouver, you ever been there? You can help me go there?"
Me, "Sorry, I don't know anything about immigration"
Driver, "You got good job here?"
Me "Yes"
Driver "You make lots of money, how come you not drive own car?"
Me "Don't need one"
Driver "You Married?"
Me 'Yes"
Driver "How many kids"
Me "None"
Driver "Why, you can't have?"
I ignore him.
Driver, "Where you want to go?"
Me. "Bangsar"
Driver, "No, no traffic stuffed, waste time"
I got out at that point, the whole conversation took maybe a minute, you might think this is an unusual conversation, but sadly, its pretty much how every taxi ride goes, and if its to the airport the driver will be expecting you to send him cards on his birthday, will know you're job, he will have tried guessing your salary, and if you are stuck in a jam, he will try to extort you for extra money because the tires are low.
The very first time I was in KL was when I was visiting my parents, dad worked here for a couple of years. My father and one of his colleagues from Canada decided to take my younger brother and I to the Night Market at Petaling Street. We decided to take a taxi because it was simpler then getting parking and my dad wasn't that familiar with KL. Everything went fine on the way there, but on the way back the taxi driver was very concerned that his car was being broken by all the weight of 4 white guys (Admittedly, we were probably to heavy for the car (a Proton Saga). A couple of times, while we were stopped at lights the driver would open his door to look at the tires. I assume he was checking to see if there was enough air in them. I think we over paid him when we got back to the hotel. It's funny at the time I had no idea where we were or how far it was from the hotel to Petaling Street, but now I know its only a 10 minute drive at most, that night I'm sure he took us the longest way possible.
Back to personal space:
I think that there is a connection to how many people live in a given square kilometer and how close they get when talking to you. In Canada, people getting closer than about about half a meter would have caused you to step back, but here thats considered to far. Seriously when you go to the bank machine the guy behind you will stand so close that you feel his breath on your neck, thats not an exaggeration. It still bothers me.
OK for the Squeamish skip the next paragraph! Seriously!
Every guy knows the urinal rules, if there is someone else using the urinal, there must be at least one empty urinal between him and the urinal you approach, better yet would be 2,3 or 10! Here guys don't seem to have that issue, they come stand next to you and then will sometimes make small talk!
When I first started working here I worked in an office building and here there is only 1 washroom per floor, unless there is one small washroom for "Executives" so the washrooms tend to be rather large (7 10 urinals). One thing that I know I never thought about (and I'm about to put it in your mind, you can thank me later) before I came, but how do they clean after? Well in the stalls there are hoses, which I assure you are probably only slightly less disgusting then using leaves in the bushes! But at the urinals there's no hose; nothing and men here wash (you can infer what you like from that) so if you're really lucky you have the washroom to your self and you are spared knowing these details but I'm going to enlighten you. These guys wash in either the sink (keep up, we're not talking about their hands) which is pretty nasty, I mean shit do we need to see that, the other place they use is in the urinal, yep with their hands! Ok so this sounds pretty bad so far, but it does get worse, after they "Wash" they leave, yep they don't wash their hands and people wonder why I keep tissues in my back pocket.
Ok, sorry for that.
The fact that I can relate this scene to you really shows how uninhibited about personal issues Malaysians are, this is not only limited to the bathroom. People here really believe that the "Westerners" talk about everything with anyone, I don't know where they get that from, maybe TV?
Malaysians don't have the built in filter that I grew up with (and admittedly, mines not so good all the time). When you go shopping for example, if you pick up an item thats fattening, the old "Aunty" will offer her opinion that you don't really need that, maybe you need a diet.
Well anyway, it makes it very interesting, and hell if it was just like Canada why would I be here?
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